I preferred the traditional means of knowing someone through having a real and personal conversation with the person while observing the way he lays his arms on the table, drinks his coffee or how he treats the waiter. I was that kind of person. But I guess everything changed when a total stranger showed up online saying how he liked my blog and was very much interested in knowing me personally. That was quite a taboo. Initially, I doubted. What if he is a criminal or an identity thief probably? Sorry, but I
stalked looked up his timeline and I realized that yeah, he was kind of cute though. Haha! Then I checked our mutual friends, posts, and photos of course, I even googled him, just to make sure he was legit, existent and not dangerous. I decided to give it a try. After clicking that “Confirm Friend Request” button, I didn’t expect anything. I thought it was something ordinary. Later, I didn’t know that the simplest act of accepting his Facebook Friend Request brought us to an adventure, one which made me realized that indeed, we do not find the meaning of love alone but we find it with another.
We started chatting like ordinary people do online. We talked about the weather, traffic, Duterte, or anything under the sun. After months of just chatting, he asked for my number so he can call me. I refused to give it. I even disliked video calls because at that time, I was afraid that calls will make us more familiar with each other, I wasn’t ready to embrace any fondness with him yet. Gosh! I haven’t seen him yet! So I took my long time knowing him, understanding every corner of his mind. But one day, for reasons I didn’t understand, I hit the call button in the messenger. And from there, we started talking to our phone screens, and true to what I believed, the feelings just got deeper. He was this practically goal-oriented person, he has dreams and he is running after those dreams. He knows what he wants and strives and works hard for it. I love that he is open-minded, his horizons are far-reaching. I appreciate that we argue and agree and disagree on so many things. His communication skills are quite amazing too, although I have to say that sometimes, his thoughts can drive me nuts and his sincerity in saying what he thinks may sting sometimes but that attitude also helped us to be more open to each other. His love for his family is tremendous and the way he values the importance of relationships is very pleasing. His honesty spelled integrity. You would have to agree with me that nowadays, there are only few true gentlemen. I guess I was lucky to have found one before gentlemanhood went to extinction. The big thing was, in the process of knowing him; I came to learn more about myself.
I learned how to be honest with myself and just be spontaneous. For a person like me who rarely opens up to people, I was surprised that I learned how to talk about how I feel and why do I feel that way. There was this incredible exchange of thoughts and emotions that made us going. We remain curious of how our days went. We are excited about discovering something on our own and sharing this to the other. I learned to appreciate words and the meaning of it because these words are the only connection we have. Like you don’t say words just to say something, it sounds cliche’ but you have to really mean what you say. Part of being open, I also learned to unleash and simply enjoy my awkwardness. Sometimes, I feel like crap and moody, but whatever emotion I was in, I always try to communicate it to him and he appreciated it that way, and I always ended up feeling relieved.
I was able to get a first-hand experience of the greatest maxim that patience is a virtue. I was never a fan of that saying. But if you really want something, you have no other choice but to wait. It will never be easy. There will be times when you are close to saying it quits because of the distance. But you shouldn’t be heartsick, because in life, the longer you wait and the harder you work for it, when it finally comes, the longer it will last. It’s simple, either you want it so much that you make it work or you don’t.
I will not deny that time and distance difference is an issue. Like for instance, when he works all night while you are fast asleep, and when you wake up, he is so dead tired that you feel guilty still talking to him. The frustration of missing him will hit you hard, you will have those “missing-you-terribly” attack to “wondering-where-will-this-take-us” to “how-much-longer-can-you-wait” to “can-you-really-do-this?” syndrome. But that doesn’t mean that you succumb to the distance. If you really want it, you have more than 100 ways to make time turn in your favor. Sabi nga nila, kung gusto, maraming paraan.
I learned how to be hopeful, that despite all the things that we went through, one day, we will be together for real and for good. That should be the greatest motivation that will keep you optimistic. That despite those dropped calls due to faulty internet connection, difference in daily routines, seenzoned messages because one is either busy or damn tired sleeping, and a long list of uncelebrated special occasions, time will come that you will just be sitting beside him, drinking coffee on a fine cold day, talking about random things in the world, and you will still find that very magical.
I tell you, whatever adventure that is, whatever people call it, wherever that feeling will bring you, give it a chance. You don’t know, he is probably the love you have been waiting for.
Until next time kabsat. Apanak pay ag-order ti kape for two. 😉
The Backpacking Lawyer is a practicing lawyer and a nurse by profession in the Philippines. While she enjoys her day job, she loves traveling and sharing her adventures and misadventures with you.